I hope your week has been awesome. Mine has been a trip.
Projects, life, client launches, finances...
For a while things seemed bigger than me. Bigger than the amount of time, brain power, arms, and budget I possess.
Deana B.C. (before I trained as a life coach) would've navigated a week like this completely tense. I would've ranted, freaked out, snapped at people, aaaannnd probably slept like crap.
But Deana A.C. (after coaching) handles chaos differently.
I learned a Jedi mind trick that works.
(Seriously, if you don't go all Obi Wan Kenobi on your mind it will pistol whip you. True story.)
Okay. Do this:
Think about a situation that is pissing you off or worrying you. It can be a doozy or just a little guy. Got it?
Now get a pencil and paper.
Draw a line down the middle and make two columns.
Use the first column to write down all your perceptions about the situation.
In the second column write down the corresponding FACT to each perspective.
SEPARATING YOUR PERCEPTION FROM THE FACTS OF STRESSFUL SITUATIONS IS A FANTASTIC WAY TO KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON.
Our perceptions are temporary. They're not real.
They'll change with time. But it's faster to change them by shifting what we allow our mind to focus on.
Sometimes we get so worked up and invested in stupid drama because we're reacting to thoughts our brain invented. Thoughts that may be slightly or totally different from what's really going on.
Have you ever gotten really anxious about something that involved another person? A coworker? A client?
As in, "They probably think ...(blah, blah, blah)
And then your mind started reacting to what "they probably think"?
Ever do that? And then after the dust settled you learned they hadn't been thinking what you assumed at all - so you wasted a ton of emotional energy trying to settle something that wasn't even a problem to begin with? I've done that. Deana B.C. was a pro at that.
Let's try this out together.
"Oh my God! I'll never get all this done by deadline!" (perspective)
"I have things to do." (fact)
"He's dragging this out and over-complicating the process." (perspective)
"He's thinking about this differently from me." (fact)
"I may not fill my classes which means my business will fail." (perspective)
"I have class openings." (fact)
Look at those examples above.
Really study them for a few seconds.
How much easier would be to take action based on the facts instead of the perceptions in those examples?
It's way easier. Trust me:)
So that's it. That's the thing I do all the time (like every day).
When it feels like my nervous system is starting to lock and load, I ask myself:
"What is your perception and what is fact?"
And then I write it down.
And I do want to note, this part is important so don't skip it.
Getting your perceptions and facts down on paper means you'll actually SEE what's going on. It's the mental equivalent of tipping out the bag of M&M's to sort and remove the brown ones for David Lee Roth vs. trying to dig through the bag and find them. (Watch this if you don't know what I'm talking about. Haha!)
I'm wishing you a fantastic weekend! (and that's a FACT, my friend).